I'm Not Quite Sure I Understand...

It's kind of important to be able to speak Spanish down here. Even more so to be able to understand it. I know that sounds obvious, but the reality of it hits you in a million different ways everyday - ways that even I really didn't expect.

For example - my Yahoo! email sign in is now in Spanish. As is Yahoo! news. And the ads in my Facebook feed.  The people who pump our gas also speak Spanish to us. Now, this doesn't sound like it would be a big deal, except if you don't know whether they're asking if you want your windshield washed, or telling you that you're leaking extravagent amounts of oil and other important fluids.

Most of the time we manage to get along with our limited understanding, lots of exaggerated hand gestures, and the seemingly infinite patience and kindness of the locals. But, there is one situation where these things really don't help... instruction manuals.

I just bought my first pressure cooker. I know other people who've had them, but have never used on myself, or even seen one used. Apparently they're kind of necessary when you live at 7,500 feet elevation. At least, if you want to eat beans, among other things. So, on the recommendation of - well, everyone - I went out and got one at our local Walmart store.

It's new! It's shiny! It's exciting! And, its instruction manual is entirely in Spanish.

After a bit of panic and dismay, I decided to dive right in and do my best to understand how to work my new piece of kitchenware. A piece of kitchenware, I might add, which can kind of be like a mini bomb filled with superheated steam and bits of scalding beans.

(I really wanted to get this right and understand what I was reading.)

So far, here's what I've got. (Things in caps and bold are also in caps and bold in the instructions. I'm sure this means they're super important, which is all the more disconcerting when I can't understand what they say.):

IMPORTANT SECURITY (safety?) MEASURES:
-Revise (check?) the escape tube, (something, something) that it is free of obstructions before using your Pressure Express Pan (pot?)
- Be sure (?) that the Pan (pot?) is well armed before using. (I'm pretty sure this is a wrong interpretation, but it's all I've got...)
- Never (something?) the pan (pot?) for (??) 2/3 of maximum capacity, as a general rule. (Or a general gift. Those two words are pretty close, and I get confused.)
- EXTREME PRECAUCIONS WHILE USING THE PAN (pot?) CLOSE TO CHILDREN AND MAINTAIN A CAUTIOUS SUPERVISION (I'm beginning to feel pretty cautious about using this thing!)
- The Pressure Express Pan (pot?) is (something. It has an n with a little curvy thing over it) EXCLUSIVELY for domestic use. (Does it count as domestic use if I'm in a country foreign to me, but native to the pan? Pot?)
-ALWAYS USE ORIGINAL (something. Looks like refraction, but it's not). It is INDISPENSIBLE (this has another meaning... I'm almost sure of it) for the perfect and totally safe functioning of the Olla Pressure Express (tm).

<sigh> It's pretty clear I'm going to have to get some help with this. Either that, or we're never going to eat beans again. I can live without chili, right?

I'll keep you posted...