Why I Want to do Stuff

The other day I wrote this on Facebook:

I woke up this morning with a very powerful conviction: I am not doing enough for Jesus.  He has given me everything and I still give him very little of my life.

John 3:30 NKJV

He must increase, I must decrease.

There were a few comments on it, and I had some discussion about it with my wife.  So, I would like to tell the back story.

Let me start off by saying that Facebook is, to me, a medium that should only be used for short posts.  Though I sometimes read longer posts, I don't usually, so I try to keep mine short, concise, and to the point.

Anyway - I am a server.  I like to serve a lot.  In fact, I think it was an issue in my last job. I was a manger there, and even though I think I did an alright job, I had a habit of serving my employees  instead of leading them.  Of course, to be an effective manager I think there is a part of you that needs to serve (Christ being a good example for this), but too much can leave people not sure what to do or where they stand in their job.

So, I think I have always been pretty good at serving the Lord and giving myself to serve in whatever way possible.  The problem with having a servant's heart, though, is sometimes it feels a little empty.  When you're tired or frustrated, it gets hard to serve.

I have been reading a lot about God's love lately.  Many of the books I read are about people who have fully given their lives to Christ because they have felt his love wash over them.  This, to me, was the missing key.   I want to serve more and be more bold, and the way to do that is to see his face and feel his love.

Because of this, I have been praying.  For months I've prayed, "I want to feel your love Lord.  I want to see you more as a Father, not a boss."  To be fair, I have felt God's love before, but I wanted more.  I wanted that love that makes you not worry about tomorrow.

So, on February 2, 2015, I woke up to His love.  I felt warm all over. There did not seem to be a negative thought that could come in.  But, it was not an outward experience. It was like my very soul was wrapped in his love.

That night, after feeling this peace all day, the expression that came out of it was what I posted on  Facebook.  The whole story sounds a little different than the simple expression I posted, but how do you post all that in a short statement?

I do not believe my works will get me into heaven. I do not worry about an angry God saying I am not doing enough.  I am going to heaven, and my Father delights in me.

What I do believe, though, is that when you feel the love of God, your only response will be, "How can I serve you more?"