When a girl in Guatemalan culture turns 15, it's a BIG deal! Here, it's considered a milestone that marks the difference between childhood and womanhood. The family often throws an elaborate party (much like a wedding) where everyone dresses up, there are ceremonial elements to denote the girl's new status, and the celebrant usually starts dating after her quincienera.
When our oldest daughter turned 15 last year we had to drive three hours to Mexico (a whole other country) so she could see the movie she'd been wanting to see for over a year in English. She wore jeans and ate popcorn. While she might have thought about how cute the superhero was in the film, she was most definitely NOT going to begin dating any time soon.
When a girl in American culture turns 16, it's a BIG deal! There, it's considered a milestone that marks the difference between childhood and early adulthood. The family often throws a party (usually involving lots of fingernail polish and giggling) where the girl's friends spend the night or hang out together, and the much-longed-for driver's license finally becomes a reality after a sweet sixteen party.
Our oldest daughter turns 16 this week. We have elected to skip church (which we rarely do) and go out to eat at a small, local restaurant that she really likes. And, while she'd love to get her driver's license, since we aren't ever in the States long enough for her to take driver's education classes, that's probably not going to be an option for her until she turns 18.
That's a third culture kid.
Here's the thing, though - sometimes I feel sad that my girls are missing out on both American and Guatemalan cultural milestones, but I think what they're getting may ultimately be better in the end. Both of these big birthdays are ostensibly about growing up, but their respective celebrations are also pretty self-focused. This past year my baby girl may not have had much of the latter, but she certainly has experienced the former. Allow me to explain.
It's been a tough year for Rachel. I won't elaborate, but things at school didn't go well, to the point that we chose to pull her near the end of last semester. The day-to-day challenges were really rough, and she could easily have fallen into bitterness, blame, and a loss of faith. Instead (as she so often does), she decided to grow in maturity spiritually, emotionally, and academically. This past semester she has been home schooling (i.e. being entirely responsible for educating herself) and embracing the chance to gain true fluency in Spanish.
More than that, though, she's been pressed into service the last few weeks because of an emergency staffing shortage at the Bible school where her dad works. Overnight she become student, secretary, and staff. She's there helping (in a second language, no less) every weekday, Friday nights from 5:30 to 8:30, and Saturdays from 8:00 to 1:30. All while preparing to take three AP exams. All while doing the rest of her school work. All while being responsible for keeping the house clean and doing laundry for our family. All with a smile on her face.
My daughter didn't get a big quience anos party. She's won't get her license for her sweet sixteen. We didn't do anything official to shout from the mountaintops that she's now well on her way to becoming a grownup, but she's more than confirmed that in the quiet way she has daily grown and walked in maturity with the Lord. I guess you could say she chose a third option, and one which seems so very right and appropriate for this awesome third culture kid.
Just so we're clear - she's still not allowed to date, though! :)
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