Lasts...

A few days ago I bought what (I think) will end up being my last bottle of laundry detergent before we leave for Guatemala. (I buy in bulk.) At the time, it didn't really sink in. But, as I placed it on the shelf in my laundry room next to the other, half-empty bottle, the realization crept into my heart:

This will probably be the last bottle of detergent I will ever use in this house.

That thought has been growing ever since, like a tiny little seed.

This is a last. My first last, in a way. At least, the first one to pop onto my radar. There have been others, of course, but we didn't recognize them as such at the time, so there was no nibbling little pain involved. Then, we were just living life, you see. Now, we've started a countdown. We're on the clock, so to speak.

It's funny how it's only the awareness of the next thing looming that makes the everyday more significant, and the mundane more momentous.

This new awareness of the 'lasts' ahead makes me think of things differently. I snuggle my girls a little closer on our comfy couch during movie night. I savor the weekly date my husband and I have during his lunch hour a little bit more. I hug a little harder when my family and friends leave my house after an impromptu visit. I will not always have these types of things to enjoy.

It's hard not to let a sense of desperation sneak in, to be honest.

I want to savor the good stuff so much. It is so transient. So fragile. Yet, so life sustaining. I want to breathe it in, and breathe it in, and breathe it in again.

But, at some point, I must also exhale.

Biologically, I show that I have 100% faith in the air around me every time I take a breath in, let it out, and breathe in again. There is no sense of desperation. There is no need to hold on to the breath I have for fear of what the next one will hold. I know, that I know, that I know that the air will be there for me, and it will have what I need to sustain my life.

How much more so is that true of God and our spiritual breath of life?

So, I'm determining not to let these 'lasts' freak me out. (Remind me later that I said this. Will you?) God never takes us out of somewhere, except to lead us in to somewhere else. I am eternally grateful (so much so that it hurts) to my eternal father for all the good He has placed in my life to treasure and enjoy right now. But, I'm also grateful that it is because of the exciting new chance we've been given to serve our God, whose love is everlasting, that we will so many 'lasts' in the days to come.

Makes it all worth it, doesn't it?