And So It Begins...

Sheesh.... why does everybody have to be so gosh-darned nice!!??

We are now at the point where we're starting to have to say goodbyes to people. As in - we may not see these folks again for a year. Or two years. Or, maybe not again until we meet in eternity.

This is hard stuff, made even more difficult by just how wonderful the people we are leaving behind happen to be.

Today our younger two girls went off to a home school gathering that was kind of a bonus, if you will, since it was previously unscheduled. Our oldest daughter decided to stay home so she could finish some school work she'd gotten behind on.

I guess she didn't realize this would be one of those poignant 'lasts.'
(I didn't either.)

They're really starting to sneak up on us now...

It turns out that the teacher in the program and all of the students had made beautiful cards. And said nice things. And passed out hugs.

And Rachel missed them. :(

So, now, I'm sitting on my bed, crying on her behalf.

To be honest, there are a whole lot of conflicting feelings that pop up when you're this close to leaving for the mission field. But, it doesn't always feel like it's ok to express them. I mean, we don't want people to think we're wavering in our dediction or suddenly feeling unsure of our calling, because we're not. But, at the same time, we're still human. We still have insecurities, doubts, and fears, just like everyone else.

And, leaving people you love - even if it's for the best possible reasons in the world - will always be hard to do.

There is a part of me that wants to throw the brakes on and try to stop this whole process right now. Who gives up great jobs? A great home? A great church? A great future? Who gives up family gatherings and Christmas with the grandparents and giggly friendships? What kind of parents drag their kids away from everything familiar, and known, and comfortable?

Those thoughts do cross my mind. And, even though I know they are from the accuser, and not from God, they're there. I don't want anyone to think that we're not 100% sure about our calling, but I also wouldn't want anyone to think that it's always easy to walk it out, either.

'Cause it's not.

So, if you all would just stop being so gosh-darned nice so that it would be less difficult to leave, I'd really appreciate it.

(Ok, maybe not. Thanks for being so wonderful, and so kind, and such an important part of our lives!)