The Bible is clear that they quickly and willingly obeyed - knowing that the person who called them was so much more than just a mere man, even if they couldn't yet fathom the fullness of who He was. There was something about Jesus that compelled them to lay down everything - their livelihoods, their futures, their families and friends - in order to get closer to Him.
I get that now.
But, I also wonder if those disciples struggled with the same questions and challenges that I'm facing as I prepare to follow Christ in where He is leading me.
My livelihood isn't hard for me to leave. After all - in a way, I'm boosting my own resume and professional possiblities by teaching full-time in a private Christian school. So, that's a win-win for me.
I'm also not worried about my future. Sure, I wonder about what life would be like for us if we were to stay here, instead of leaving. However, I'm fully confident that His way is the best way, and that God meant it for me when He said, "I know the plans I have for you - plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. To give you a future, and hope." (Jeremiah 29:11).
So, I feel pretty good about leaving my career and future up to Him, knowing He's got them covered.
The part that's hardest - that I struggle with sometimes -
is in leaving friends and family.
You see - that's where there's a whole lot of free will that comes into play. Free will that's outside of God's control. That's where there are other people involved.
That's where things get more complicated.
There are people in our life who do not think it's a good idea for us to go. Who don't understand why we're doing it. Who wish we'd stay. Who don't support our decision. We dearly love these people. And, while that part (the part about us loving them) isn't going to change, there are no guarantees about whether or not their love and friendship will be strained, and grow cold during our time in Guatemala.
That's hard stuff.
There are also people in our life who are completely supportive of our ministry. Who show us tremendous grace and support. Who are such an important part of who we are and the process we've gone through to get here that it's hard to think of being separated from them at all, let alone at such great distance. We dearly love these people. And, while that part (the part about us loving them), isn't going to change, there are no guarantees for us about whether or not their love and friendship will be strained, and grow cold during our time in Guatemala, either.
That is hard stuff, too.
Remember in the Bible where the disciples dropped everything to follow the Lord? Now I understand that it probably wasn't their nets that were the hardest thing to lay down at the feet of Jesus.
It was their relationships.
That ones that might have been.
The ones that were just starting to grow.
The ones that were nearest and dearest to them.
The ones that were already strained and challenging.
The ones they worried over, they rejoiced over, they relied on most.
But even as hard as it may be to lay all of the precious relationships in my life before the Lord, trusting that He will be sufficient no matter what happens with them, it would be harder still to ignore His call and not go.
After all, just as it was for the disciples, there is still something about Jesus that compells us to lay down everything - our livelihoods, our futures, and even our families and friends - in order to get closer to Him.
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