This Stinks

I know we've done a lot of sunshine-and-roses-type posts, where we've shared some challenges, but ended with an overwhelming dose of optimism and faith.

That stuff is true. And, it's totally how we feel.

But, sometimes things are also downright hard, and it's a real struggle to find the sunshine or optimism for a little bit.

Tonight is the first night in over 14 years that I've slept in my own house, but my cat wasn't there with me.

I'm not gonna lie - it's really hard.

We got him as an eight-week-old kitten when we'd been married less than four months. He's been through the addition of five pets to our family, four moves, three kids, two life-threatening accidents, and a whole lot more.

He was family, you know?

Now I find myself shedding some tears about the situation, and he's not here to comfort me (like he's always been there before). I'm struggling to not second guess whether we made the right choice about where he should go, and who he should go with, and when he should go.

BUT...

We prayed about it, and really felt a strong witness and confirmation that we made the right choice.  Still, sometimes even right choices can be awfully hard to make and follow through with.

I am holding on to the promise that God sees and cares for even the sparrows of the field, so I know He's watching out for my buddy Charles, too.

God is Awesome!

I have been thinking a lot (as missionaries getting ready to go into the field probably do) about what I'm going to say to non-believers who ask why they should believe in my God. I mean, I'm not much of a salesman to begin with. My garage sales always end with me [literally] begging people to take my stuff away. (And I've got some good stuff!) I once even paid someone $30 just to haul off a truck load of my treasures. True story.

So, I find myself wondering - if I can't even sell baby clothes and knick-knacks dirt cheap, how on earth am I going to share my God with people who don't think He's real, or that they have need of Him? How can I convince people that my God is THE way, the truth and the life, and not just one of a myriad of viable options?

I'll tell you how - it's because my God is better.

I guess some people think I should be apologetic about that, or keep my opinions to myself. But, I'm not going to.

I have friends whose religious beliefs run the full spectrum - atheism, agnosticism, Buddhism, pantheism, spiritism, unsure-ism. You name it, I know it. And, I'm always curious (legitimately, honestly - not patronizingly) about what keeps these folks believing as they do. For some, it's about being a part of something larger. For others, it's the ritual that is comforting. For most, though, it seems to be simply a matter of convenience, or even apathy. What I find that they all seem to lack, however, is relationship.

It's what people yearn for, deep down inside - to know, and to be certain that they're truly known by, something bigger and more important than themselves.

Conveniently enough, it's also exactly what God has to offer. (It's like He understands what we need, or something!)

Lest you believe that I am yet another deluded fanatic, and following a deity who doesn't exist (or, at least, doesn't know or care that I exist), allow me to give you an example.

A few weeks ago I received a card - a note of encouragement. Among the other kind things written in lovely script on the inside, were the words, "God's provisions have already been set in motion. Stay in the path of obediance, and you will intersect with them!"

I treasured these words in my heart, pondering them all this time. They have encouraged and emboldened me. And, though they weren't directly from God's hand, they certainly were from His heart, and got passed along to me through someone who had no idea of the impact those words would have. They were exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear them.

Yet, aside from mentioning them to my husband in passing conversation, I told no-one about them.

Last night, when we left the house to go to our Friday night prayer meeting, the power of those words had started to fade - ever so slightly - and I could tell anxiety was starting to creep in around the edges.  After several minutes of prayer together, one of the other faithful folks in attendance (NOT the person who wrote me the note, by the way), turned and declared to Mark and to me, "Your obediance has set you on a path that will  lead to divine intersections."

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a relationship.

THAT is a God who knows our needs, and uses willing, earthly vessels to meet them.

THAT is why my God is better.

Yes, there are coincidences and happy (general) reminders of our creator's love for us all around. I know that a beautiful sunset or a well-timed cool breeze is a love letter to each of us. But, faith in God through Jesus Christ is more than just generalities. You don't have to search out reassurances of His presence. He shows up - time, and time, and time, and time again - in tangible, measurable, verbatim ways.

But, don't just take my word for it. Get to know Him, and He'll do the same for you!

(Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

FSBO : Everything

Before we decided for sure that we were really going to commit to this crazy notion of leaving everything behind to become missionaries in some far-flung, Central American country (who does that!!??) we did a lot of research on the internet.


Ok, I did a lot of research.
(Which, in reality, meant that I spent a lot of late nights trolling on all of the missionary blogs I could find.)

The ones I discovered mostly fell into two categories:

1.) Well-established missionaries who joyfully retold the breakthroughs, high points, and victories they were having in sharing the gospel with the people of  ___<insert name of distant land>____. (Oh yeah, they sometimes mentioned that it was kind of hard once in a while, too.) 

2.) Intrepid new missionaries who did a handful of posts about their assignment, and then seemingly disappeared from the internet. Possibly the face of the planet. (It really started to make me wonder how frequently people get martyred these days.)

What I didn't see were very many (any) blogs about the preparation process. I wanted to be able to see that some other family had felt the call, and struggled with the same things we were struggling with. That's what we're trying to do here - show the ins and outs, the goods and bads, the high points and the low points of preparing for mission work.

Like, for example, having to get rid of stuff.

             Like, a lot of stuff. 

As in, basically all of our stuff.

I have mixed feelings about this. I've really struggled in the past with my relationship with my "stuff." I'm not one to sentimentalize items anymore, so it's not all that hard for me to get rid of things. (FYI - that's not true for everyone in our family, which causes some challenges.) What I am finding difficult is knowing when to get rid of what, and which things I should save.

Are we walking in faith (that we're really going to get all of our funding and be able to move in July) when we get rid of everything we don't actually, 100%  NEED between now and then? Or, are we being foolish?

Should I take my crockpot with me, or hope I can find a good deal on one once we get down there? Ditto the TV. Ditto, well, a whoooooooole bunch of other things.

Is it better to re-home our cats early (so we'll have an easier time selling our home and have that big adjustment out of the way before we face all the other 'goodbyes' ahead)? Or, should we hold on to them until the last minute, so that we don't have to miss out on a single extra minute of time with our beloved pets?

When should we put our house on the market so that we'll have enough time to get it sold, but so we won't end up living out of boxes in some hotel for the last ___ weeks we're in the U.S? 

How much stuff should we put into storage? We're committing to a minimum of 2 years in Guatemala. What if we come back, absolutely destitute, after those 2 years and regret not having kept more? What if we end up saving too much - crowding our friends' basements with junk we will someday wonder why we ever kept in the first place?

And so many more questions...

(This is where I usually try to tie things up with some profound statement that is both poignant and encouraging. Sorry folks, I got nothin' this time, except to say that we're doing the best we can to struggle with these issues, like I'm sure that everyone else in our position does. But, I don't know for sure, since no one seems to blog about this part of the journey. <sigh> All I can say is that I'm grateful that God's grace is sufficient.)

We'd love to hear your ideas and suggestions, though! What advice would you have for us? 

(Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

Life Is An Adventure

So, my thirteen-year-old daughter Rachel and I were sitting on the couch watching X Files.  It was one of my favorite shows as a teenager, and apparently it is one of hers also.  In the beginning, Mulder and Scully are told about a crime in Oregon. They are in DC, and have a private plane waiting for them and fly to Oregon, and then will take a helicopter ride to a volcano area in order to solve the crime.

Rachel, sitting next to me, said "Wouldn’t that be cool - to start off one place during the day and be somewhere else completely different by that afternoon? It would be so much fun!”.

I paused the show and we talked about it. Honestly, that will be our life soon.  In six months we will leave everything comfortable and wonderful that we know for adventure and uncertainty.

Now, I think I should explain something.  There are people out there, like Rachel, who crave adventure.  For them, the thought of going into the jungle with just what is on your back is exciting.

For me, not so much. If you poll the people I grew up with, the consensus would probably be, "he liked movies."

Growing up, I wanted to have a home, a beautiful wife, wonderful kids, great church, and a job I liked.   Ding, Ding, Ding…I am there! And, my prize? To leave it all for the Lord.

I don't mean to sound like I don’t want to go.  But I'm going mostly because I gave my life to Christ to do what he wanted.  He has always given me the choice: press in, our stay where you are?  And, my reply for the most part, was to press in, because I do not want to marginalized.  What do I mean? Marginalized means to not reach your full potential, to get up to heaven, and to find out you could have done more.

Yikes!

It is just like the final scene in Schindler’s List, when Schindler finds himself asking, "How many more could I have saved?  This gold button could have saved 3 more..."

So, I am going on an adventure.  Not by my own temperament, but because the Lord said, "Go."  I will be moving to a country that I do not speak the language of.  To get there I have to drive through Mexico. (Ditto about not knowing the language.)

The school I will be working with has satellite locations around the country. Some of them are pretty remote and hard to get to. It may be one of my jobs to go into these remote areas and make sure the schools are operating correctly. By myself. (Hopefully I will have learned the language by then.)

There is a missionary who works in the mountains helping get clean water to villages. It has been suggested that I might be going up there and helping for a week or two at a time. My guess is they do not have hotels up there..

That is just the beginning of what could happen. Yet, I could not be more excited.  I am going to live the life on the road few choose.  I am going to see foreign people, and ancient ruins, and active volcanoes, and different cultures.  And the best part: it is all for Christ.  It's not a vacation, or something I would have chosen on my own, but it is the greatest calling there was and ever will be.

We will face adversity. We will feel doubt, joy, fear, courage, sadness, rejoicing. And, it will all be worth it, because at the end, I will hear, "You have been a good and faithful servant.”

Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)