Purchased, Not Sold

I've spent a lot of time pondering and written many a blog post in the past about how I kept waiting to feel like a "real" grownup. A "real" teacher. A "real" professional. A "real" mature Christian. Now, I sometimes find myself waiting to feel like a "real" missionary. Hmmm... amazing how that works.

Here's the problem with that - there's no such thing as An Idiot's Guide to Becoming a Missionary or  How to Be a Missionary for Dummies. Trust me - we looked! Though there are several books that have been written about becoming a missionary, there is no one, single, definitive guide except for the Bible. (Then again, what more could you need than that!?) What's conflicting, though, is that many of the human resources that have been written don't necessarily line up with the original mandates and instructions given in Matthew 28:19, Mark 16:15, Luke 9:30, Acts 13, etc.

To be honest, much of what we read about becoming missionaries (aside from the Bible) before we moved down here had to do with fundraising. With quantifying what your work is worth. With selling yourself and what you do. <sigh> Seriously, people!? This is what's available out there? This is what people are going to come across in their search for answers? This is the advice you have to give people going into the mission field? If that view of mission work is true, and success is only about what's the most exciting or interesting in people's minds, then we will never, ever measure up.We will never be "real" missionaries.

If they're right, how can we possibly say to anyone that our work here is as important as the work of another friend, who was gifted by God through a series of dreams, with an invention that makes dirty water safe to drink, works in even the most remote location, and lasts longer and costs only a fraction of what most water purification systems cost? How can we say that what we're doing is as important or more important than what he does, when he has literally saved hundreds of eternities and lives (mostly the lives of children and babies) who didn't have to face the threat of water-borne illness because of his faithful dedication?

If they're right, how can we possibly say to anyone that our work here is as important as the work of our friend, a single woman living in the middle east? One of only a handful of Americans still in her war-torn, dangerous nation? A woman who bought back three children whose mother had sold them for their organs (yes - you just read that correctly), and now struggles to keep them fed? Struggles to keep them educated? Struggles to keep them safe? Struggles to stay safe herself because she refuses to leave the country (no matter the danger) if it means leaving them behind?

If they're right, how can we possibly say to anyone that our work here is as important as the work of yet another friend who lives in Northern Iraq with his wife and six children, and helps refugees who have lost everything (often, including loved ones) in the ever-advancing onslaught of radical Islam? Whose very life is in danger each day because of his insistence on sharing more than just food or supplies, but in sharing the gospel of Jesus along with them? Who helps support, equip, train, and pray with military forces who have bravely volunteered to try to stop the advance of ISIS and take back cities which had been strongholds of Christianity for almost 2,000 years and have now been emptied of every living soul?

According to the books (well-intentioned though they were), our family must now consider itself somehow in competition with these other missionaries - our brothers and sisters in Christ - so that we can win the precious and limited prize of financial support that (let's face it...) we all need in order to complete our ministry. The message is that we have to sell ourselves well if we want to do our work well.

Here's the problem with that: 

We were already purchased by Jesus Christ, so we don't need to sell ourselves any more to anyone, and neither do our friends (Gal. 3:13).

It's not our job to convince people that they should believe in what we're doing and support our work. That's God's job. He's the one who sent us (Rom. 10:14-15). He's the one who owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Ps. 50:10). The whole Earth is His, and all that it contains (1 Cor. 10:26). When He (through his son Jesus) told the first missionaries to not even worry about taking an extra bag, or shirt, or pair of shoes because the worker is worth his keep (Mt. 10:10), I believe He meant it for now, just as much as He meant it then.

I guess since the Bible is always right (hallelujah!), and all those books are wrong, it's really not our job to convince other people that we're "real" missionaries. That means I don't have to try to convince myself of it anymore, either. Hmmm... amazing how that works. :)

I sincerely appreciate the intentions of the people who wrote those books about how to enter the mission field. But, dear friend, take some advice from a REAL missionary (yes, that's me!) - you will never have to compete with anyone for what the Lord wants to give you for His work (resources, love, approval, etc.), because in Him there is ALWAYS more than enough (2 Cor. 9:8).

Theory Vs. Practice

My husband, right now, is 2,387 miles away, give or take. He's sitting in the warm embrace of friends and loved ones back in our home state, eating foods we haven't been able to get in almost a year, and watching TV in English!

I, on the other hand, am, um -- well, to be honest, I'm in my PJs at 9:00 a.m., sipping Guatemalan coffee and sitting in bed, so I guess I can't really make it seem like I'm suffering by comparison, or anything. But still... we're apart, and that's no fun.

But, his trip does signal another victory in the daily battle between Theory and Practice.

See, I think this is one of the challenges Christians (or, even anyone with strong principles or convictions) face in life. My husband feels like there's a chance he's being called to travel and preach in the future, which kind of interferes with the bone-deep, knee-knocking fear of flying he's had in the past. What's a guy to do? Should he let the theory of *someday* stepping out in faith to explore that calling God whispered into his heart be enough, or should he put it into practice?

(I'm so awfully proud of him for choosing the latter.)

Right now he's on the other side of Mexico (and on the other side of fears and trepidation) preparing to go to a church conference, attend meetings to speak to people about our ministry, and take classes to keep up his professional licenses back in the States. But, more than that, he's also kickin' heiney and takin' names when it comes to proving he's willing to follow through with the ways God is leading Him, and not just let his life be a series of theories.

We almost did that.

We almost let the idea of missions be something we supported in theory, but didn't put into practice because we didn't want to inconvenience ourselves or our loved ones too much. We almost decided the mere theory of trusting God with our time, our finances, our family, and everything else was good enough for us. We almost decided it was impractical to put into practice the theory we said we believed about God really and truly being Lord over every part of our lives.

But, it's more than that.

Every day we have this choice to make. Will we walk out the admonition to love our neighbor as ourselves (Gal. 5:14)? To discipline our thought life and take every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5)? To guard our mouths and speak only what is helpful for building others up (Eph. 4:29)? To pray without ceasing  (1 Thes. 5:17), and stand in faith when we pray in the name of Jesus (Mark 11:24)? To love the Lord our God with all of heart, soul, strength, and mind (Mt. 22:37)?  To heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons (Mt. 10:8), and make disciples of all nations (Mt. 28:19)?

Will we choose to deceive ourselves into thinking that merely being hearers of God's Word and understanding it in theory are enough (James 1:22), or will we put into practice what we know to be true, and thereby choose the blessed (albeit more challenging) route instead (John 13:17)?

Yes, this challenge comes into play in big things (like moving your family thousands of miles to serve as missionaries or facing down deeply-held fears), but it also comes into play each and every moment of each and every day, when we must decide whether Christian theory is good enough, or if we're going to be the ones to put God's Word and Christ's example into practice.

The decision is easy to make, but not always easy to follow through with. Are you going to live out the reality and practice of a living and powerful God who's so much more than just theory? The choice is up to you...

I Am Healed

I believe in healing.  

 There - I said it. 

I do not believe it is ever the will of God for his children to be sick. Of course, this doesn't mean that I know why some people don't get healed, or that everyone I pray for gets healed. I don't really want to get into the details of this belief in this blog - maybe in another one.  This is just a statement of faith post, with personal stories.

There are two things I have learned  since my Mom passed away. 1.) God is good, all the time, all the time, all the time. Never does God do evil.  2.) God does not want his children sick and never causes sickness. 

If you want to blame someone for your sickness, let me give you what Jesus said in scripture: The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10, NKJV. (The thief is the Devil, by the way, if anyone was wondering.)

But, this is not a post where I discuss proofs, so let us get to the stories.  I have three personal stories to show that healing has happened in my life.  These all happened to me. They are not third party accounts.

1st Story - Dental Pain - I think dental pain is the worst of all the pain, and I have had a lot of it (almost all because I didn't take care of my teeth like I should have.)  I had a filling done, and when they were drilling I bit down onto the drill.  (Once you get  that image out of your head we will go on.)  What I was left with was a filling right next to the root, leaving my mouth extremely sensitive to temperature changes.  The reason I say temperature changes is because even drinking room temperature water hurt.  

I built up my faith ,and then prayed over that tooth to no longer be sensitive.  I went to the dentist and he X-rayed it during my normal check-up. He told me that since it had been more than eighteen months, it would always be sensitive and the the only way to fix it was a root canal.  When he told me this, I chuckled and thanked the Lord for my healing.  Two months after that appointment I was drinking some refrigerated pop and forgot to drink only on the left side of my mouth. This would have normally dropped me to my knees in pain, but the only sensation I was left with was the good taste of root beer. It has now been ten months since I drank that pop, and ever since I have put ice in my drinks and love my drinks cold.  The Lord healed my tooth.

2nd Story - Fear of Heights and Flying -God does not only heal physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  I used to have a horrible fear of heights, and especially of flying.  One day I got a chance to go to Guatemala and be used by God, but I had to fly. I had flown before, but it had always bothered me, and it was getting worse.  The Devil will always take ground when you are living in fear. 

I worked up the courage and flew to Guatemala. It was horrible.  When it was time to go back I was terrified to even get on the plane, but how else was I going to see my girls back home? The first leg of our flight was the worst I had ever been on. The plane would not stop shaking and hitting air bubbles.  Though it may seem funny now, I actually considered jumping out of the plane. I felt death would have been better.  We finally landed, and our group prayed for me. They knew how scared I was.  I really wanted to rent a car and drive back from Atlanta to Omaha, but I also really wanted to see my girls. 

So, I took a leap of faith and got on the plane.  Andrea and I sat with someone who had knowledge and experience with how to walk out the process of asking for and receiving healings.  We prayed, and by the time we took off I felt better. I thought it was a great flight, in fact. Everyone else in our group thought it was the worst we had been on.  Since then I have climbed ladders and done things that would have been impossible before.  I still do not enjoy heights, but when I have to do them, I can.  I was healed of my fear of heights.

3rd Story - Stomach Problems - In Guatemala it is considered normal to have stomach issues.  In September I had horrible stomach pains that lasted almost two weeks. It felt like someone was grabbing my stomach and twisting. It was very painful and I lost at least five pounds during this time.  In mid October I started to have the same issue again.  I prayed over my stomach, had faith, and trusted God. The first day was just as bad as it had been before. The next morning started out the same.  Then, by lunch, my stomach only hurt a little, and by dinner I was feeling fine.  I actually felt so well that I forgot I had been sick.  Luckily, the Holy Spirit brought it to my mind and I remembered to thank the Lord, otherwise I would have gone on forgetting to thank him because the healing was so complete!  I was healed from stomach problems.

I know as people read this they may be able to poke holes in the stories.  I don't really care.  I know what I went through.  I have seen greater miracles than these with my own eyes - people having chronic pain go away, diseases disappearing, and other such things.  But these happened to me, so I know and can testify personally that they were real. I know these things for sure: God heals, and God is good all the time!

What's in a Name?

When we first started our ministry (we giggle everytime we say that, because we can’t believe God would call us to ministry) we were just Mark and Andrea.  It was actually difficult to pick a name.  You have to have a good name - something that is steady. Not cheesy, but also not too serious.  We wanted it personal, and not vague.  We also wanted to have something we could grow in. Some ministry names seem outdated after a while, especially if it was part of a specific revival movement.  We wanted something that inspired even us.

What we came up with was ‘Farriers of Faith’.

We go to Fellowship of Faith Christian Center, but I had not realized how close our name sounded to theirs until after we had actually agreed on it.  There was some debate on this matter.  Many weeks of debate, actually.  Andrea wanted something with ‘world’ in it.  She loves the scripture ‘…go into all the world…’  I felt it was vague, and for now we are going to just Guatemala. I mean, let’s not get ahead of ourselves!

I felt Farriers of Faith was the best, because it was the only name we came up with that spoke to me.  After a while Andrea agreed that it was a good fit, and that was how we got our name.

The thing I want to focus on in describing how we feel about it is the faith part.  Faith, to me, was a really important part that I wanted in the name.  Webster defines faith as, "something that is believed, especially with strong conviction."

Andrea and I believe we are called to go to Guatemala, to help people, and to give them the gospel.  We believe this, and are strongly convicted.  We believe it to the point that when people say, "I don’t understand..." we often find ourselves saying, "Wee don’t either, but we have to go."

We have faith that we are called.  We have faith that since we are called, God will take care of all of our needs.  We have faith that since we are following the call, God will not waste a minute of our lives.

Faith has changed for Andrea and me in the last few months.  Faith feels so different when I have a good job, a full stomach, a great family and friends.  As we are giving some of these things up, faith is changing in my life.  Relying on others to see our vision and that the Lord will lead them to support us in our calling - that is a different kind of Faith.

The enormity of what we are about to do is settling in.  Faith is changing because I have heard the calling. I know that He is enough.  Sometimes fear tries to come in, but I hold on to God's promises, and choose to have faith. He has led me this far, and I know He won’t let me down.

(Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

God is Awesome!

I have been thinking a lot (as missionaries getting ready to go into the field probably do) about what I'm going to say to non-believers who ask why they should believe in my God. I mean, I'm not much of a salesman to begin with. My garage sales always end with me [literally] begging people to take my stuff away. (And I've got some good stuff!) I once even paid someone $30 just to haul off a truck load of my treasures. True story.

So, I find myself wondering - if I can't even sell baby clothes and knick-knacks dirt cheap, how on earth am I going to share my God with people who don't think He's real, or that they have need of Him? How can I convince people that my God is THE way, the truth and the life, and not just one of a myriad of viable options?

I'll tell you how - it's because my God is better.

I guess some people think I should be apologetic about that, or keep my opinions to myself. But, I'm not going to.

I have friends whose religious beliefs run the full spectrum - atheism, agnosticism, Buddhism, pantheism, spiritism, unsure-ism. You name it, I know it. And, I'm always curious (legitimately, honestly - not patronizingly) about what keeps these folks believing as they do. For some, it's about being a part of something larger. For others, it's the ritual that is comforting. For most, though, it seems to be simply a matter of convenience, or even apathy. What I find that they all seem to lack, however, is relationship.

It's what people yearn for, deep down inside - to know, and to be certain that they're truly known by, something bigger and more important than themselves.

Conveniently enough, it's also exactly what God has to offer. (It's like He understands what we need, or something!)

Lest you believe that I am yet another deluded fanatic, and following a deity who doesn't exist (or, at least, doesn't know or care that I exist), allow me to give you an example.

A few weeks ago I received a card - a note of encouragement. Among the other kind things written in lovely script on the inside, were the words, "God's provisions have already been set in motion. Stay in the path of obediance, and you will intersect with them!"

I treasured these words in my heart, pondering them all this time. They have encouraged and emboldened me. And, though they weren't directly from God's hand, they certainly were from His heart, and got passed along to me through someone who had no idea of the impact those words would have. They were exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear them.

Yet, aside from mentioning them to my husband in passing conversation, I told no-one about them.

Last night, when we left the house to go to our Friday night prayer meeting, the power of those words had started to fade - ever so slightly - and I could tell anxiety was starting to creep in around the edges.  After several minutes of prayer together, one of the other faithful folks in attendance (NOT the person who wrote me the note, by the way), turned and declared to Mark and to me, "Your obediance has set you on a path that will  lead to divine intersections."

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a relationship.

THAT is a God who knows our needs, and uses willing, earthly vessels to meet them.

THAT is why my God is better.

Yes, there are coincidences and happy (general) reminders of our creator's love for us all around. I know that a beautiful sunset or a well-timed cool breeze is a love letter to each of us. But, faith in God through Jesus Christ is more than just generalities. You don't have to search out reassurances of His presence. He shows up - time, and time, and time, and time again - in tangible, measurable, verbatim ways.

But, don't just take my word for it. Get to know Him, and He'll do the same for you!

(Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

Why Not Stay Here?

So, here's a question we get a lot:

Why are you guys going to Guatemala?  mean, there are lots of people here who need help.
         who need more money...
                    who need more food...
                             who need more love...
                                                                                                               Who need more Jesus.

It's a thoughtful question, really, and I appreciate that people are asking it, because it means they recognize the needs here in the U.S. In their states. In their communities. In their own neighborhoods. And, if God has opened up their eyes to recognize the needs, then they're supposed to be part of the solution.

Don't believe me? It says so in the Good Book.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his deed.   -- Prov. 19:17

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  -- Gal. 6:2

Give to the one who begs from you, and do no refuse one who would borrow from you.  -- Mt. 5:42

Whoever opresses a poor man insults his maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors Him.  -- Prov. 14:31

Do not neglect to do good and share what you have, for such sacrifice is pleasing to God.  -- Heb. 13:16

But if anyone has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth. -- 1 John 3:17-18

(Seriously - I could go on like this all day. The admonition to care for those in need around us is in there. A lot.)

According to a study done in 2010 by the Pew Charitable trust, there are approximately 250 million self-identified Christians in our country. (Yes. I know. If you self-identify as a space alien it doesn't necesarily make you one of those either.)

But, let's just say, for the sake of argument, that even 1/4 of those people who say they're Christians really got a hold of Jesus, and let Jesus get a hold of them. What would happen if they decided to start living out the scriptures I just listed above? That's  62 1/2 million people - or a smidge over 20% of our nation's population.

What that means - conservatively -  is that even if only a quarter of the people who call themselves Christians in the U.S. decided to reach out and help just 4 people each, then everyone in our country could have the chance to hear about Jesus, and experience His love through human vessels.

The church in the United States could - quite literally - care for all the widows and orphans. Feed all those who are hungry. Help all those in need. Reach all of those who are unreached. And, it wouldn't really take that much or that many of them to do it, either.

That's not the case in Guatemala.

So, honestly, the very question that people think will make us reconsider going, is the one that reaffirms that we're supposed to do so. There are enough people here who see the need, and have what it takes to meet it. Our job is to go to Guatemala.

We're doing our best to help our 4 people each before we go. (More than that, really.) You guys do the same, and tell your friends.

Once word gets out just how much of a difference we can make for Christ, this nation should be in pretty good shape in no time.

Right?

Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

Called

You will always have the poor with you. And whenever you want to, you can give to them. But you won’t always have me here with you.                         --Mark 14:7

When I went to Guatemala last February, I was not at all 'mission-minded.'  I went mostly out of curiosity, because the Holy Spirit was leading me to go, and because I wanted to make my wife happy. (I knew she was starting to feel a leading toward missions, but I had no idea how strong it was.)

When I got down there I was overwhelmed at the need. But, honestly, it was something else that really grabbed me.  Even with all the poverty, and all the futility - people seemed happy.

This was quite a mind trip for a person who grew up believing in the American Dream.  It really struck me while I was standing on the roof of a church, in the dark, watching kids playing and families talking on their roof across from us.  The idea that these people are different - different culture, language, economy, opportunities - it all faded away. What was left was just people. And, though they were different, they really were people, just like me.

And that was the start.  After that it became easy to see one very important thing: I am not called to change these people’s lives by Americanizing them. I am called to give them the promise of Christ.  While it is true there is mass poverty, trash everywhere, unsafe conditions - all of that is good to work on - what they most need is Christ.

You may be reading this and saying “duh, of course it is about Christ. If that's you, then I challenge you to go on a mission trip, to open up to the Holy Spirit when you are there, and see how it changes your perspective.  If you are honest, I bet you will find out that a lot of what you believe to be your Christian values are really American values.

Christ is what is needed to change lives, communities, towns, cities, and countries. What purpose would it serve to comfort someone here on earth, but let them suffer after they leave this earth?

That is not to say helping people is wrong. One of the overwhelming things that hit me was how much we could do for the people in Guatemala to help their physical needs. Because of the prosperity of this country, we have money and opportunities. We are much less afraid of failure. Think about it - we get experience building things, because a lot of time if we fail we can go buy the stuff to try it again.  That is a very different reality from a person who has one chance to build something. If they fail they have nothing else to try it with. There is no second chance. (And, that's assuming they had the resources to build it to begin with.)

So, yes - we are going down to bring an amount of comfort to the people we can reach, in whatever form we can.  But, that can never overwhelm the fact that we are there to bring Christ to people. After all - He's the one thing that is universally and eternally important.

- Mark

Like what you've read? Want to learn more? Check out our website, or go here to make a tax-deductible contribution to our ministry. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

Poverty

This is a really hard subject for me to talk about - poverty. Which is too bad, 'cause it's kind of a big part of telling people about what we're planning on doing in Guatemala.

In one way, it's hard to talk about it to friends, family, churches, small groups, etc..., since the American understanding of poverty is a little bit, well, skewed. It's one of those things that everyone thinks they know when they see it, but can't really describe. In the U.S. we have a 'poverty line,' 'poverty guidelines,' and 'poverty thresholds' - all used in different ways, by different agencies, with different purposes. Even after reading extensively on the Health and Human Services webpage, I'm not 100% sure what any of these things really mean. In our prosperous nation, they're really just a statistical measurement of who has the least as compared to everyone else, and not necessarily a way of determining if someone truly has enough - enough to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, and a roof over their heads.

Yes. There are desperately poor people in our country who literally struggle each day to find the resources it takes to sustain their very lives. But, very few. Especially in comparison to the rest of the world. I can't find any actual figures on this subject, to be honest. When I try to find data on those living in poverty in the U.S., I come up with articles like this, which use Census Data figures to give a picture of what poverty in our country looks like.

80.9% of those living in 'poverty' here have both a land line phone, and a cell phone

96.1% have a t.v.

83% have some sort of DVR

(Seriously!? What the heck!? I just got a DVR for the first time last year!!)

It's no wonder people's eyes glaze over a little when I start telling them about the poverty in Guatemala. It's hard to understand what that means, in light of our own examples in the United States.

Maybe this will help. The World Bank uses the term 'Extreme Poverty' to describe people living on less than the equivalent of $1.25 per day. I'm going to venture a guess and say that there is something like .1% of the U.S. population that lives in such extreme poverty. Maybe.

In Guatemala, it's 13.5%.
In the Congo, it's over 87%.

Worldwide, there are an estimated 1.2 billion people in extreme poverty.
That's 20%.
Of the people in the world.
Who live on less than $1.25 per day.

Wow.

But, here's the kicker - it's not about the poverty. At least, not the money part. We aren't going to evangelize in Guatemala because they're living in poverty there. We're going because they need Jesus. The fact that they also need food, clothes, and shelter (which we can help give them) provides an open door to give the most needed, the most important, and the most lasting thing at the same time - salvation.

Remember - the only way we're going to be able to help with those living in the poverty-stricken nation of Guatemala, is because of the generosity of those living in the prosperity-driven nation of the United States.

Please pray about contributing to our mission. (Select 'Farrier' from the pulldown menu.)

Please take a moment to thank God for your own financial wealth, especially in light of the fact that so many in the world have so much less.

Please work in your own neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, communities, homes, and churches to end the most dangerous type of poverty of all - spiritual poverty, and the absence of salvation through Jesus Christ.

That's a poverty that no one can afford to have.

Rich and poor have this in common:
    The Lord is the Maker of them all.

- Proverbs 22:2

The Check Is In the Mail

We took another big step today, which was both good and scary, at the same time. That's right - we used the postal service as our megaphone (so to speak), and 129 letters have now been mailed out to our friends, family, and acquaintances.

To put that into perspective - if you believe the estimates to be found online, I consumed approximately 774 calories just from licking all those envelopes! (129 is a lot.) One thing I couldn't find online - how many calories a person burns by folding letters and stuffing them into envelopes. I'm kinda hoping it's a more aerobic activity than it seemed at the time. I mean, the last thing I want is to get fatter just by trying to become a missionary. Sheesh!

Anyhoo - it feels very exposing to know that those letters are all out there, on their way to maiboxes around the country. In a very real sense, it's like it's more official now than ever, since more people will know that we're planning on going. There's no taking it back, which makes the questions in the back of my mind all the more irritating. And scary.

What if we misheard the Lord, and this isn't what we're supposed to do? (What if He said, "guacamole" instead of "Guatemala"? After all - they sound similar. Right? Right!?!)

What if we're terrible missionaries? (Like, so bad that we end up turning people away from Christ instead of to Him, and everyone in the country ends us a hopeless heathen - because of us?)

What if we can't raise the money we need in order to go? (So, we go anyway, by faith, and end up more destitute than the people there, and they end up getting missionaries from within Guatemala to come do outreach to the poor, pathetic Gringo family?)

What if? 

What if? 

What if...?

See - even (especially) missionaries have doubts like every other Christian. But, I no longer have the luxury of  wrestling with my 'what ifs' in the privacy and (relative) comfort of my own mind, anymore. It feels like I've now got an audience of 129 people with ringside seats. Somebody pop some popcorn, I guess...

"In this corner, weighing in at 6 ounces more than she did before licking all those envelopes, is Andrea Farrier!"

"And, in the other corner, small enough to slip into your thoughts unnoticed, is the Nasty Naysayer, whose exploits have been recorded in such publications as the book of Job, the gospel accounts of the temptation of Christ, and every modern fashion magazines!"

Well, you know what? I say, "bring it!" Bring on the echoing announcer. Bring on the glare of the lights and the ropes to mark the ring. Bring on the popcorn, and bring on the audience. Somebody ring the bell, and let's get this thing started.

Trust me - just getting to the place of accepting that God could possibly want someone like *me* to go the Guatemala to preach the gospel required a whole lot of kickin' Doubt's heiney, already. I'm getting much better at it, with each passing day. And, if watching me struggle with this 800 pound gorilla encourages someone else's faith, or helps them tune out The Accuser, then I'm more than happy take my fight public.

I've read the end of The Book. I know who wins. Here's a hint - it's not the Nasty Naysayer. And, as long as I keep resisting Him, then that means I'm on the winning team. It's a sure thing, friends. My reward is already waiting is for me. I guess, in some ways, you could say that the check is already in mail. And, since that's the case, I really don't have anything to fear from putting all those envelopes in the mail, either, do I?

Except, maybe, those extra 6 ounces from licking all those envelopes. But, I think I can handle that.