Coming Home

We have been back in Guatemala for a week.  It was such a whirlwind trip through the United States, filled with with great memories and many blessings.  But, it is good to be back.

While we were in the United States, the number one question we got was, "When are you coming back?"  This was normally followed by, "Where are you coming back to?," or, "What kind of job will you do?,"  etc.  Our normal response was, "We don't know. We'll make a decision in January, when Andrea has to decide whether or not to sign a contract for another year."

When we first came down we made a commitment of a minimum of two years.  This was a self-made commitment, since Andrea's school only does one year contracts and my internship was only for a year.  The two years was so we didn't quit too early.

After Andrea and I drove back over the border of Guatemala last week, though, we both knew - this is our home.  No matter home much we loved our home country, and even played with the idea of going back and resuming our old lives their, the Lord has placed our hearts in Guatemala.  This is the life we have chosen.

So, we have made our decision.

We will be staying until God says otherwise.  We don't know how long that will be. After all, three years ago we didn't even know about missions!  We are going to stop looking at end dates and trying to figure out our next steps.  This is where we are supposed to be until we are not supposed to be here anymore.

From now on, when we're asked, "When are you coming back?,"  I know our response will be, "We'll be here until God changes our hearts."

Why I Want to do Stuff

The other day I wrote this on Facebook:

I woke up this morning with a very powerful conviction: I am not doing enough for Jesus.  He has given me everything and I still give him very little of my life.

John 3:30 NKJV

He must increase, I must decrease.

There were a few comments on it, and I had some discussion about it with my wife.  So, I would like to tell the back story.

Let me start off by saying that Facebook is, to me, a medium that should only be used for short posts.  Though I sometimes read longer posts, I don't usually, so I try to keep mine short, concise, and to the point.

Anyway - I am a server.  I like to serve a lot.  In fact, I think it was an issue in my last job. I was a manger there, and even though I think I did an alright job, I had a habit of serving my employees  instead of leading them.  Of course, to be an effective manager I think there is a part of you that needs to serve (Christ being a good example for this), but too much can leave people not sure what to do or where they stand in their job.

So, I think I have always been pretty good at serving the Lord and giving myself to serve in whatever way possible.  The problem with having a servant's heart, though, is sometimes it feels a little empty.  When you're tired or frustrated, it gets hard to serve.

I have been reading a lot about God's love lately.  Many of the books I read are about people who have fully given their lives to Christ because they have felt his love wash over them.  This, to me, was the missing key.   I want to serve more and be more bold, and the way to do that is to see his face and feel his love.

Because of this, I have been praying.  For months I've prayed, "I want to feel your love Lord.  I want to see you more as a Father, not a boss."  To be fair, I have felt God's love before, but I wanted more.  I wanted that love that makes you not worry about tomorrow.

So, on February 2, 2015, I woke up to His love.  I felt warm all over. There did not seem to be a negative thought that could come in.  But, it was not an outward experience. It was like my very soul was wrapped in his love.

That night, after feeling this peace all day, the expression that came out of it was what I posted on  Facebook.  The whole story sounds a little different than the simple expression I posted, but how do you post all that in a short statement?

I do not believe my works will get me into heaven. I do not worry about an angry God saying I am not doing enough.  I am going to heaven, and my Father delights in me.

What I do believe, though, is that when you feel the love of God, your only response will be, "How can I serve you more?"

Endurance

So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!  Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.   - Hebrews 10:35-36 NLT

I have a bad habit. It may even lead to a little sleep deprivation at times.  Before I go to bed I like to read.  Most of the time I read something I already own. Sometimes something will come into my mind, and I will look it up on the internet, and suddenly it's four in the morning!

So, the other night the thought came to me, "You like testimonies don't you?"  I responded back, "Why, yes I do."  The thought continued, "What about the testimonies of atheists who were once Christians?"

I'd never read those. I'd never even thought of reading those.

A quick internet search of 'Christians turned atheists' led to a treasure trove of stories.  Some interesting, some boring, some very sad.

Most of the stories, but not all, started, "I believed... was part of the church... example, example, example....  Then _______ happened." Typically ________ was some kind of tragedy. The death of a close family member seemed to be the most common, or a bad illness or something someone prayed for that didn't happen.  They usually continued by saying, "I lost faith, and then I started reading different atheist authors and websites.  I found comfort in those things and am now free of believing in a myth / fairytale / superstitions / religion."

It was amazing to me how the stories were so similar, including many from ex-pastors turned atheists. They seem to be kind of rock stars in the atheist world, often turning to full time speaking about how they were 'delivered from religion,' and making good money doing it.

All these stories got me thinking about my own story.

I gave my life to God at eleven, and was saved at thirteen.  I served in my church, often going to services every-night during busy times.  Then, tragedy happened. My mom got cancer. After three years. and an especially horrible last six months, she was gone.  I lost faith.   

Sounds familiar, right? But, now for the difference.

I was not going to let God off the hook.  That is what switching to atheism is, in my view.  "God these bad things happened, so I am not going to believe in you anymore. That will teach you!" 

Not good enough.  I wanted answers. Why did prayer not work? Why did this happen to mom, who was such a faithful person? So, I dived into the Word. I read the Bible.  I read literature from the church I was going to.  I watched YouTube videos of pastors. I read websites of different  ministries - both ones I knew, and new ones. I wasn't doing this passively. I was looking for answers.

Then, on September 3, 2010, the Lord answered me.  It was such a personal and private experience that I cannot really describe it, but it was life changing.

Even after the encounter I still had things I struggled with.  I went through severe depression, had a lot of fear, and took a long time healing.  Jesus brought me through each hard thing, though He definitely did not cause them.  Most of them were caused by my own anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness toward other people.  As the Lord led me through the challenges (sometime with me pulling back) I became more and more free.  Then He could start using me. And, He has, in ways that I couldn't even imagine four years ago.

Let's go back to the beginning, with me reading late at night. When people go through a challenging time, they must choose whether they're going to push deeper into knowing the Creator of the Universe, or believe a lie that brings temporary comfort, but not eternal comfort.  A lie that makes life about us, instead of about Him.  A lie that will be of no help the next time a challenge happens.

In the Hospice room with my mom and aunt, my mom gave me a present that I think about weekly.  In the middle of her pain, and close to death, came this song from her lips:

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so..."

No Place Like It

When  I came to Guatemala two years ago for the first time I remember remarking to someone on the trip that I had never been any place like it. His response was I felt that way because I wasn't having to go to work. (I think he was making a joke.)

On Sunday, when I climbed up the stairs to check on the laundry and looked out over the city, I was filled with the same thought - there's no place like this. God has put this place on my heart. I don't know for how long.  I cannot see myself anywhere else right now. Yes, Iowa is my home, and I shed a tear when we crossed the border and I realized I would not be returning for awhile.  The rows of corn. The beautiful sunsets. The hot summers and the cold winters.  The way the evenings cool off just enough in the summer to enjoy going for  a walk.

I have been blessed with the chance to go many places and see many things.  The dryness and vastness of the Arizona desert.  The scope of the Grand Canyon.  The beauty of St. Louis (one of my favorite cities).  The laid-back atmosphere of Jamaica.   The energy of New York. (Oh, I hope to get to go there again!)  The beauty of the Appalachian Mountains in the Carolinas.  The BBQ of Kansas City.  The awe-inspiring cliffs of the Ozarks in Missouri.  The friendly people of Alabama.  And, of course, the ocean, and all the oceans and coasts I have gotten to be on! Some of my best prayer times have been on a beach or standing in the waves.  So many wonderful places.

But, there really is no place like Xela, Guatemala.  God has planted me here.  I love the mountains. The volcano. The wonderful people who still believe that relationships are the most important things.  There may be challenges, but there is nowhere I'd rather be.

I Am Healed

I believe in healing.  

 There - I said it. 

I do not believe it is ever the will of God for his children to be sick. Of course, this doesn't mean that I know why some people don't get healed, or that everyone I pray for gets healed. I don't really want to get into the details of this belief in this blog - maybe in another one.  This is just a statement of faith post, with personal stories.

There are two things I have learned  since my Mom passed away. 1.) God is good, all the time, all the time, all the time. Never does God do evil.  2.) God does not want his children sick and never causes sickness. 

If you want to blame someone for your sickness, let me give you what Jesus said in scripture: The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10, NKJV. (The thief is the Devil, by the way, if anyone was wondering.)

But, this is not a post where I discuss proofs, so let us get to the stories.  I have three personal stories to show that healing has happened in my life.  These all happened to me. They are not third party accounts.

1st Story - Dental Pain - I think dental pain is the worst of all the pain, and I have had a lot of it (almost all because I didn't take care of my teeth like I should have.)  I had a filling done, and when they were drilling I bit down onto the drill.  (Once you get  that image out of your head we will go on.)  What I was left with was a filling right next to the root, leaving my mouth extremely sensitive to temperature changes.  The reason I say temperature changes is because even drinking room temperature water hurt.  

I built up my faith ,and then prayed over that tooth to no longer be sensitive.  I went to the dentist and he X-rayed it during my normal check-up. He told me that since it had been more than eighteen months, it would always be sensitive and the the only way to fix it was a root canal.  When he told me this, I chuckled and thanked the Lord for my healing.  Two months after that appointment I was drinking some refrigerated pop and forgot to drink only on the left side of my mouth. This would have normally dropped me to my knees in pain, but the only sensation I was left with was the good taste of root beer. It has now been ten months since I drank that pop, and ever since I have put ice in my drinks and love my drinks cold.  The Lord healed my tooth.

2nd Story - Fear of Heights and Flying -God does not only heal physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  I used to have a horrible fear of heights, and especially of flying.  One day I got a chance to go to Guatemala and be used by God, but I had to fly. I had flown before, but it had always bothered me, and it was getting worse.  The Devil will always take ground when you are living in fear. 

I worked up the courage and flew to Guatemala. It was horrible.  When it was time to go back I was terrified to even get on the plane, but how else was I going to see my girls back home? The first leg of our flight was the worst I had ever been on. The plane would not stop shaking and hitting air bubbles.  Though it may seem funny now, I actually considered jumping out of the plane. I felt death would have been better.  We finally landed, and our group prayed for me. They knew how scared I was.  I really wanted to rent a car and drive back from Atlanta to Omaha, but I also really wanted to see my girls. 

So, I took a leap of faith and got on the plane.  Andrea and I sat with someone who had knowledge and experience with how to walk out the process of asking for and receiving healings.  We prayed, and by the time we took off I felt better. I thought it was a great flight, in fact. Everyone else in our group thought it was the worst we had been on.  Since then I have climbed ladders and done things that would have been impossible before.  I still do not enjoy heights, but when I have to do them, I can.  I was healed of my fear of heights.

3rd Story - Stomach Problems - In Guatemala it is considered normal to have stomach issues.  In September I had horrible stomach pains that lasted almost two weeks. It felt like someone was grabbing my stomach and twisting. It was very painful and I lost at least five pounds during this time.  In mid October I started to have the same issue again.  I prayed over my stomach, had faith, and trusted God. The first day was just as bad as it had been before. The next morning started out the same.  Then, by lunch, my stomach only hurt a little, and by dinner I was feeling fine.  I actually felt so well that I forgot I had been sick.  Luckily, the Holy Spirit brought it to my mind and I remembered to thank the Lord, otherwise I would have gone on forgetting to thank him because the healing was so complete!  I was healed from stomach problems.

I know as people read this they may be able to poke holes in the stories.  I don't really care.  I know what I went through.  I have seen greater miracles than these with my own eyes - people having chronic pain go away, diseases disappearing, and other such things.  But these happened to me, so I know and can testify personally that they were real. I know these things for sure: God heals, and God is good all the time!

Uncomfortable

I am going to talk about the thing no one likes to talk about.  Not me. Not you. Only sadists.

That topic is money.

Now, I could go on about how much we need your support to do the work God is calling us to do, or how much things have cost so far to give you a better idea of our needs. But honestly, the only thing I want to say in this blog is:  THANK YOU.

Thank you for supporting us.  I would imagine if you are reading this you are supporting us somehow, either through prayer of financial support.  (Most people don't read blogs they don't have a stake in.)

Everyday I wake up and thank the Lord that He brought me to this place.  I know I have been homesick. I've had had to put up with cold showers. I get terrible headaches just from trying to understand what is going on around me. I've had an upset stomach for almost two weeks, and many other such things. Yet, it has all been good.

I would rather be here than anywhere else.  When I think of going back to the USA - to a normal life - and I just can't see myself happy there.  God is not done with me yet here.  I do not believe I have even scratched the surface of what God wants for me here.

So, thank you for supporting us.

If you have not contributed to us financially but you have had an unction to do so, I would recommend it.  We still give to other missionaries that God has put on our heart, and I have never regretted giving.

If you are friends and do not give to us, don't worry about it! This is between you and God.  We have no expectations from our friends.  We have many missionary friends that we do not contribute to because God has not laid them on our hearts, and it does not affect our friendship.

One final note: if you are feeling like you are supposed to give to a missionary, but do not feel it is us, let us know.  We have a missionary friend in Yemen who is sacrificing a LOT to be there, and she is definitely doing God's work.  Email us at farriersoffaith@yahoo.com  to get her information if you feel this would be a good fit for you.

Once again - thank you for everything, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be able to do live this life. Thanks for making it possible.

Visit

What can happen if you decide to visit somewhere truly different?

By the end of September, Andrea and I will be moved into our new home.  The Lord has blessed us by opening up a house that has six bedrooms, though by United States standards the rooms are very small.   This means though that we can have visitors.

So, we want to open this up to every one of our friends.  Come visit us.  Come down - whether for a day or a month.  Call us, email us, let us know what works best for you.

Do you want to come down and learn Spanish? There are a lot of good Spanish teaching schools, or you could work with a private tutor like I do.

Do you like kids?  The school Andrea works at is always looking for substitute teachers to give a break to the regulars. On the days you are not called, you could take time to explore the city or join me at the Bible College. 

If you are a physical labor person, we can find at least a couple of projects for you to work on.

If you want to be a tourist, that is fine too.  There are many buses to take you to sights around Guatemala.  I would also drive you when I had time.  (Though I will not go down the zip lines, I will watch when you do.)

Come and see a different life. Come with an open heart and see the ways in which people need Jesus.

Just come. Everything else will take care of itself.

Five Impressions

I have been here now for 4 weeks - living in a different country, trying to find my way in what God has called me for.  After this amount of time I wanted to share five things. Some still amaze me, and some I find interesting.

• People and Friendliness – Luckily I grew up in a church that was very huggy.  You would not get to your seat on Sunday morning without getting a lot of hugs.  Since leaving there, though, I have become a person who likes my personal space. (Not with my kids and wife, just normally with other people.)  That idea goes right out the window here.  Here handshakes are normal for men, until you get to know each other. Then hugs, mostly side hugs, are considered good.  Women, for the most part, greet with a kiss on the cheek. They greet both men and women this way.  You can imagine my joy when, on the first day of classes, all the boys kissed Rachel on the cheek.  I am getting used to this, but it still makes for awkward moments.

•  Language Barrier – I knew Spanish would be hard.  But, I didn’t understand the paralyzing fear that is created when you cannot speak to people.  At least people are friendly here. And, though they laugh at you, they do not make fun of you.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not have lasted this long without Andrea.  At this point I am on my 3^rd week of Spanish tutoring with a great Christian man named Guillermo, and I have gone to McDonalds by myself and ordered food.  The worry of a language barrier is so great that I lock myself away unless I absolutely have to do something.  Thank God for Andrea. She is my angel.

•  Cold Water – I think this is a challenge everyone can try at home.  Only use cold water all day, for one day.  For everything but showers.  Dishes by hand, laundry, washing hands. (Oh, and make sure you don’t touch your face before drying your hands. You don’t want to get sick).  Now, to replicate a shower, turn your shower pressure down so it is about a quarter of what you normally use.  Get the water to where the chill is just out of it.  That is the average temperature. Occasionally warm it up so it is comfortable, not hot, then turn it to cold about thirty seconds later. This replicates the suicide shower head turning off.  Repeat.

•  Noise – You ever have a couple kids playing outside till midnight keeping you awake? Do you go out and tell them to be quiet? Call the police?  Here, you never call the police unless you absolutely have to. They almost always make things worse.  No one cares about noise, so good luck getting them to be quieter - especially if their drunken parents are enjoying their soccer game.  This is somewhat liberating though. When our kids are running through the apartment making noise, who really cares?

•  Hard workers – Ever wonder why all of those Guatemalans are risking their lives to get to the United States?  Why they’re sending their underage children, with a high risk of death, rape, and mutilation? It is because of the poverty.  There are no jobs.  Now before we talk about no jobs in the United States, I want to let you know that before I left I went to Omaha. There, I saw at least twelve help wanted signs out at businesses.  Yes, they were restaurants and places like that, but they were jobs.  There are no jobs here. None.  And, when one does come up, it is gone very quickly.    No questions of health insurance, minimum wage, vacation, or sick time.  Just, “I will take it.” Also, there is also no government assistance. You don’t work, you don’t have money.   So, for the most part, people work very hard here.  They stand in the market and sun all day, hoping to make enough to make dinner that night.  The idea of retirement or savings is kind of silly, really.  Being an American, I do often wonder, would I work that hard for so little money?  If I knew that was my life here, would I send my kids on a risky trip to the United States, even though I love them and my country? Would I stop looking for work and drink my worries away, looking for easy targets to steal from? These are the kind of things I wonder about as I drive through the streets.

These are a few of my impressions now that I have been here awhile.  If you would like to hear about anything else, leave a message in the comment section or on my Face

Getting a Good Start

I do not know how to be a missionary.

Is that too honest?  To the ones who support us, is that too truthful?  Does that make you consider withdrawing your support?

Hopefully you knew me well enough to know that before I wrote this.  That you knew (even before I did) that this would be a process.  That this is like starting at a first job, and it would take me a while to grab on to the things that it takes to go out and share Jesus with people and help in whatever way I can.

For the last three weeks we have been traveling down to the border of Texas where will meet up with people we are working with and go into Mexico and then Guatemala.  Along the way, we’ve been visiting with family and friends before leaving the country.  It has been a very fruitful time

I have been looking for opportunities to minister to people, but it was hard. Anytime I saw someone that I thought looked good to minister to, people were around and I was not sure how they would react. I kept praying for a moment to minister, because that is my job now – right?  To minister to people’s needs?  Isn’t that why people are supporting us?  Why should I wait for Guatemala?  That is where I am called to go, but there are plenty of people to tag along the way, so to speak.

 

So, on our way down to Brownsville on Wednesday night, we had to stop to repair the Jeep again.  The seal around the windshield was coming out and we needed to stop for a potty break and to get tape to hold it together until I could get it fixed the next day.

While I was putting the tape on, a man came up and started talking to me.  He was saying how he was waiting for his job to start, and that he could wash our vehicle while we waited.  His accent was very thick and it was hard for me to catch everything he said.  I knew that the Lord has set this situation up, so I could get my start in ministering, and bless this man who was definitely on hard times.

Here is the problem - I had no idea what to do.  Do I give him money?  Offer him a Bible?  Ask if he is saved?  Pray for him?  So I did what any intelligent man would do: I waited for backup.  Luckily she came out while this man and I engaged in small talk.

See, unlike myself, Andrea has experience talking with people about these things. She has been in these situations way more often.  So as she came up I said to her quietly “help”, and then we were a team.  I told him I did not need my vehicle cleaned but could I give him some money to help him out. Andrea asked if he wanted a bible, which he took, and then we prayed for him, with Andrea leading the prayer.  We shook hands with him and left, but when we got in the car, we prayed more for him.

Thank goodness for a good wife and a good God to lead to a situation to bless someone in His name.

This may seem small, but I will not despise small beginnings (Zech. 4:10).  I have big dreams of what I want to do for Christ, but I have to start somewhere.   

I am just excited for the next opportunity to help.