I Am Healed

I believe in healing.  

 There - I said it. 

I do not believe it is ever the will of God for his children to be sick. Of course, this doesn't mean that I know why some people don't get healed, or that everyone I pray for gets healed. I don't really want to get into the details of this belief in this blog - maybe in another one.  This is just a statement of faith post, with personal stories.

There are two things I have learned  since my Mom passed away. 1.) God is good, all the time, all the time, all the time. Never does God do evil.  2.) God does not want his children sick and never causes sickness. 

If you want to blame someone for your sickness, let me give you what Jesus said in scripture: The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10, NKJV. (The thief is the Devil, by the way, if anyone was wondering.)

But, this is not a post where I discuss proofs, so let us get to the stories.  I have three personal stories to show that healing has happened in my life.  These all happened to me. They are not third party accounts.

1st Story - Dental Pain - I think dental pain is the worst of all the pain, and I have had a lot of it (almost all because I didn't take care of my teeth like I should have.)  I had a filling done, and when they were drilling I bit down onto the drill.  (Once you get  that image out of your head we will go on.)  What I was left with was a filling right next to the root, leaving my mouth extremely sensitive to temperature changes.  The reason I say temperature changes is because even drinking room temperature water hurt.  

I built up my faith ,and then prayed over that tooth to no longer be sensitive.  I went to the dentist and he X-rayed it during my normal check-up. He told me that since it had been more than eighteen months, it would always be sensitive and the the only way to fix it was a root canal.  When he told me this, I chuckled and thanked the Lord for my healing.  Two months after that appointment I was drinking some refrigerated pop and forgot to drink only on the left side of my mouth. This would have normally dropped me to my knees in pain, but the only sensation I was left with was the good taste of root beer. It has now been ten months since I drank that pop, and ever since I have put ice in my drinks and love my drinks cold.  The Lord healed my tooth.

2nd Story - Fear of Heights and Flying -God does not only heal physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  I used to have a horrible fear of heights, and especially of flying.  One day I got a chance to go to Guatemala and be used by God, but I had to fly. I had flown before, but it had always bothered me, and it was getting worse.  The Devil will always take ground when you are living in fear. 

I worked up the courage and flew to Guatemala. It was horrible.  When it was time to go back I was terrified to even get on the plane, but how else was I going to see my girls back home? The first leg of our flight was the worst I had ever been on. The plane would not stop shaking and hitting air bubbles.  Though it may seem funny now, I actually considered jumping out of the plane. I felt death would have been better.  We finally landed, and our group prayed for me. They knew how scared I was.  I really wanted to rent a car and drive back from Atlanta to Omaha, but I also really wanted to see my girls. 

So, I took a leap of faith and got on the plane.  Andrea and I sat with someone who had knowledge and experience with how to walk out the process of asking for and receiving healings.  We prayed, and by the time we took off I felt better. I thought it was a great flight, in fact. Everyone else in our group thought it was the worst we had been on.  Since then I have climbed ladders and done things that would have been impossible before.  I still do not enjoy heights, but when I have to do them, I can.  I was healed of my fear of heights.

3rd Story - Stomach Problems - In Guatemala it is considered normal to have stomach issues.  In September I had horrible stomach pains that lasted almost two weeks. It felt like someone was grabbing my stomach and twisting. It was very painful and I lost at least five pounds during this time.  In mid October I started to have the same issue again.  I prayed over my stomach, had faith, and trusted God. The first day was just as bad as it had been before. The next morning started out the same.  Then, by lunch, my stomach only hurt a little, and by dinner I was feeling fine.  I actually felt so well that I forgot I had been sick.  Luckily, the Holy Spirit brought it to my mind and I remembered to thank the Lord, otherwise I would have gone on forgetting to thank him because the healing was so complete!  I was healed from stomach problems.

I know as people read this they may be able to poke holes in the stories.  I don't really care.  I know what I went through.  I have seen greater miracles than these with my own eyes - people having chronic pain go away, diseases disappearing, and other such things.  But these happened to me, so I know and can testify personally that they were real. I know these things for sure: God heals, and God is good all the time!

Brain Dump

There are times when, for whatever reason, I don't have the time, focus, or ability to create an entire blog post, but there are lots of little things floating around in my head that really want to come out and play. It is for such times as these that I created the 'Brain Dump' post. Enjoy!

• Why is it that I have to duck through every doorway in my house, but the mirror in my downstairs bathroom is so high that even I (giant Gringa that I am) can only see my reflection from the nose up? 
• Is it worth taking the time to tell my phone to remember every word I type on messages and texts, or should I just continue to be content having it try to autocorrect everything I write into some random Spanish word instead? 
• There really is nothing quite like seeing a valley full of clouds from above. They look a giant, white lake, with only the highest mountain and volcano tops peeking out around the edges. Guatemala is a truly spectacular land. 
• I love that the presence of the Lord breaks language barriers. There is something immeasurably thrilling about standing in the midst of dozens and dozens of people who are crying in their own language, and I'm crying in mine, and even though we can't understand each other, we understand each other perfectly. It is at once familiar and novel every time, and I can't get enough of it. 
• I wonder when I'm going to start "feeling" like a missionary. 
• Being stared at for the color of your skin and how much you stand out is a very strange feeling. I'm not sure I like it, but I also know it's good for me, and for our family, to understand life on this side of the equation. 
• I keep mixing up the words for old (viejo) and trip (viaje). Yesterday I told my Spanish tutor that I was taking an old this morning with my students. <sigh>  He's very patient with me, and tries his best to only chuckle instead of laughing openly at my mistakes. 
• How far should one go to assimilate into one's new culture? Should I feel compelled to throw my kids big birthday parties at a local restaurant, and invite all of their classmates? Should I think about having a Quince Anos party for Rachel, even if she's not really interested in having one? Where is the line between rude and just different because of our background? 
• So, here's something strange - I buy fresh fruit from withered, ancient, Mayan women at an open market. I live and drive on literal cobblestone roads.  I hang my clothes to dry on the roof. Everyday I see people who carry things on their heads. It is no longer startling to spot cows, goats, and chickens in the road, but I do a double-take when I see a dog on a leash. These things are still hard to believe sometimes.
• Cats walking across plastic roofing in the night sound really loud. And really big. Unless, of course, there actually is a 500 pound panther walking across my skylight each night at 2:00 a.m. Could be, I suppose. Could be.
• Around here there are places called 'Auto Hotels.' Let's just say they call them that because they're places that your car goes to sleep, but <ahem> you don't. (My understanding is that they rent by the 20 minutes.) They are everywhere, and sometimes have startling American icons or logos. Like, cartoon characters, for example. I saw a billboard for one a few weeks ago that featured Chewbacca from Star Wars. Seriously, Guatemala - you never cease to amaze and confuse me. 
• Some street food smells reallllllly good. It's becoming increasingly hard to resist.  I'm beginning to think it's worth the risk of catching amoebas or accidentally eating dog meat. You only live once, right? 
• There is a kind of bread here called Pan de Muerte (bread of the dead), but I don't think it has to do wtih the Day of the Dead. (I might be wrong.) On that day people eat a cold meat and vegetable salad (of sorts) called fiambre. I'm told it's delicious. Can't wait to try it.
• I love that students have identified my room as a safe place to be, and that many of them go there to eat lunch. To hang out. To cry. To ask for prayer. God is so good.
• Every roadtrip I take (or everytime I'm in the car for more the 20 minutes, for that matter) I see someone peeing on the side of the road. There are signs up all over town admonishing people not to throw trash or use the bathroom on the sidewalks, walls, and empty lots. 
• I have yet to figure out how to write about life here in a way that really captures the beauty of this place and my genuine, pleasant wonder at it all. Somehow everything I've written sounds negative, even though I meant it just the opposite. I guess you're going to just have to believe me when I say that everything here (even the hard stuff) is a blessing and part of the place that God has truly made me love with all my heart.

Identity Crisis

Learning a foreign language is hard, especially at my age. (I'm not old, of course, but I'm also not  kid anymore, either.) Figuring out new pronunciations, conjugations, phrases and idioms - I'm not gonna lie, it's taxing to say the least. I never before understood the reality of a physical headache that comes from language strain. Let me assure you, though, it's very real. But, despite how challenging and annoying that can be, it's not the hardest part about learning a language. That hardest part is losing your identity.


Allow me to explain.

In the U.S., I speak English, and I speak it well. I am an English teacher, after all. I'd like to believe (and years of experience have supported the idea) that it's easy for fellow English-speakers to assume within just a few moments of conversation that I am a Christian, educated, informed, intelligent, open, friendly, kind, trustworthy, sincere, genuine, and contain a sharp wit and a great sense of humor. (Alright - maybe people don't think all of those things, but it's my blog, so I'm allowed to take a few liberties.)

Here, though, it's not so easy.

I'd like to think I'm still all of those things, but now I don't have any way to communicate them to others. Let's face it, someone unable to come up with the word for 'sit' doesn't exactly come off as amazingly smart. I'm afraid that the long pauses in conversation during which I roll my eyes heavenward, searching (physically and metaphorically, as it were) for a certain phrase or way of saying something tend to make me look a bit untrustworthy at best - as if I'm engaging in a lie and trying to keep all the facts straight in my head. At worst, I'm afraid some people have wondered if I literally had a mental disorder or disability. And then there is the inappropriate level of exuberance I express in voice and energetic hand gestures when trying to convey such simple things as wishing to buy two pounds of potatoes, instead of one.

Of course, it also doesn't help that, apparently, we no longer know how to say our own names. Mark has (out of necessity) become Marcos. Rachel is now Raquel. Even Rebecca, Sarah, and myself, whose names are technically also Spanish names, have had to learn to drastically change the pronunciation. As for 'Farrier' - forget it! It's strange how even American words from American corporations (like Big Mac, or Angus Deluxe, for example) have to be said with a pronounced local accent in order to be understood. It is a surreal experience at McDonalds to ask for chicken nuggets and be received with a blank stare, but be understood perfectly by contorting the word into "noo-goots".

<sigh> I'm afraid that all of Xela have become aware of the family of giant gringos living in their midst, and they're thoroughly convinced that we're all a bunch of idiots.

So, to overcome that misconception, we're doing our best to smile a lot. We are very well versed in the Spanish phrases for, "I'm sorry," "please," and "blessings from Jesus." And, we do our best to express the love and grace of Christ everywhere we go. Perhaps we can at lesat be known as polite idiots who love the Lord, after all.

For all of you out there living in the land of your native tongue - soak it up! Enjoy being able to express who you are, and never forget how powerful your words can be! (I'd try to say that in Spanish for you, but I'd rather maintain my reputation as an intelligent, intelligable person instead - at least in one country!)

Bienvenido a Nuestra Casa!! (Welcome to Our Home!!)

I know we've written in the past about how excited we were when we found out about this house, and how much we'd love to have visitors, but we've been getting a lot of requests lately for blog post giving a little tour of our new home. I think that's a fantastic idea! 

So, here it is - our house:

This is the view down the street:

This is the view up (literally! note the steepness of the hill) the street:

From our front door you enter into the living room, which is long and narrow and cozy:

Immediately to my left in this pic is the door that leads to the courtyard area. (The curtain behind the TV in this pic also looks into it.) This is the view as you're standing in that doorway. You can see the stairs, door the bathroom (open), and door to a closet (red). 

This little cubby hole is under the stairs. It's the place to store garbage until trashday - Wednesday mornings. We have to be sure to have it out before 6:00 a.m., but don't dare put it out the night before or the 649 neighbhorhood dogs (give or take) will make a mess of it.

This is our downstairs bathroom - just off the courtyard. I hate to be indiscreet, but you'll note the full trashcan near the toilet. That's because you can't flush the TP. Took a little while to adjust to this, but we're totally used to it now. 

Here are the shower and sink in the downstairs bathroom. We usually use the upstairs shower since it has the option of using the gas-powered hot water heater. However, despiite how scary these electrical lines look, this shower does produce pretty decent hot water.

The next door in the courtyard area is for a closet that we use to store cleaning products, brooms, etc... Nothing much to see. The anatomy pic in the lower right is a handpainted/embroidered piece made years ago by one of the family members of the house's owners. There are two more as well. I think they're just about nifty and folk-arty as they can be, but they freak Rachel out a little. :) 

This is another view of the courtyard. The owners left us several lovely plants, which I am doing my best to keep alive! You can see the windows on the left which lead into a small room downstairs. The arched door goes into the kitchen. The arched windows lead into the diningroom.

This is the small room downstairs off the courtyard. For now, we're not using it for anything except storage. It needs a new coat of paint, and smells of midlew to me. We're hoping to get it freshened up and be able to use it for an office / study area. 

This is our dining room, which will hopefully soon have a bigger, better table and chairs. We're still deciding on what we want to get. Can't wait to have many family meals and visitors gathered around our table!

Adjoining the dining room is our kitchen - probably one of the best kitchens in all of Xela! :) Most houses don't have any built-in cabinetry, so even renters have to buy/build storage. Our kitchen is a real luxury, and we love it.

One of the curious things about life here (one of MANY) is that we don't have hot water at our kitchen faucet. One of the best purchases we've made here so far is our electric water kettle, which is SO much faster than trying to boil water on the stove at 7,500 ft elevation, and comes in super handy when we are doing dishes, making oatmeal, having a quick cup of tea, trying to sanitize something, etc.  In this picture you'll also notice our baskets, perfect for storing fresh fruits and veggies from the market.

One more item of note before we leave the kitchen: the way people wash dishes here. Instead of using liquid dishsoap, they typically buy little, round containers of gritty, semi-solid soap, and just dip their sponges/rags into when they're washing the dishes. Works like a charm! Sorry about the dirty dishes in the sink, but at least you can see what our stuff looks like that we bought to use. 

Time to head upstairs. The stairs are located at the opposite end of the courtyard from the kitchen. They're very steep, and very narrow. (We have to walk up sideways with our giant Gringo feet.) This is the view of the courtyard and stairs from the kitchen door. You can see all the way to clear roof, and the walkway upstairs. The door  you see on the lower left goes into the livingroom.

Thisis what it looks like from the top of the stairs. You can see the bathroom door below. At the top of the stairs, you can either turn around and go up 4 more steps into the prayer room, go straight ahead into the guest room, or turn left and go down the walkway toward Rachel's room and the rest of the bedrooms. It's a very funky and small landing.

This is our prayer room. We're SUPER excited to have a place designated in our home for prayer, Bible study, worship, etc... Right now we don't have much in it, but we've decided to go 'Moroccan style' with it, and just get a bunch of nice rugs, pillows, maybe more bean bag chairs, etc. (The rug you see in there now is a hand-woven one we bought at the market last weekend.) I'm looking forward to spending many hours there, and hoping to host Bible studies there as well. 

This is our guest room. Though it doesn't look inviting yet, we're hoping to be able to get a very comfy bed soon. Poco a poco (litle by little) as they say here. Another unusual blessing in this house is that each of the rooms came with an armoire. Most homes have no closets, and you have buy them. Our landlords left theirs for us to use, which saved a lot of time, money, and hassle! 

This is a view down the walkway from the guest room - looking toward Rachel's door (on the right), our room (at the end of the walkway), and the little girls' room (windows on the left).

Rachel really loves her room, especially since she got a double bed instead of a twin, and has lots of storage for her things.

Next up is our room, which is pretty simple, but nice. Our bed is comfortable. The closet is roomy. And, as long as remember to duck, we don't hit our head too often on our arched "hobbit door." (Oh yeah - forgot to mention there are numerous doors and stairways we literally have to duck in so we don't injure ourselves.) 

Across the hall from our room is the room the little girls share. These two are best friends, and really love being together. Thankfully, the bunk bed was already here, along with the closet and the bookshelf. All we had to do was unpack their bags and buy bedding.  The windows in this picture as the same ones you saw from the walkway. They look out into the house over the courtyard. In fact, the only exterior windows in the whole house are in the prayer room, stairs, and guest room. Except for skylights, two of the bedrooms have.

Just next to the girls' room is our laundry area, neatly tucked in under the stairs to the patio. It is SUCH a blessing to have a washer and a good place to hang clothes to dry! Most people here handwash their stuff in a big sink called a pila. We have a nice pila in the courtyard, but don't use it often. Also in this picture is a gas water heater. It is kind of pain to light, but the joy of being able to have hot showers (and even baths, if we want to ) is indescribable, especially on the cold mornings we so often have here. Though the weather is much more temperate here than in Iowa, it does get down near freezing some nights, and we have no insulation, no heating system, and only wire mesh between us and the upstairs patio. A hot shower is a blessing beyond description some days. 

Just to the right of the washer is our upstairs bathroom. It's pretty roomy, and very nice. 

Beyond the bathroom are the stairs that lead up to the rooftop. We have to be especially careful to mind our steps and our heads here, since they are narrow, steep, and have a low overhanging ledge. Oh, and they make a corner. In the first picture the window to the right looks into the bathroom, and just to the left (behind that wall) is the washer.

At the top of the stairs you can look behind you to a platform on the roof that has a water holding tank. This is a blessing, since the water and/or electricity are often shut off here in Xela for hours at a time in one sector or another in town. You just never know when your sector is going to lose out! This holding tank has really been wonderful for those times when we'd have otherwise been without water. 

Directly ahead of you at the top of the stairs is the doorway that leads to the patio. If we don't close this door and latch it (using a string and nail) each night, we're told we're likely to end up with stray cats in our house. As it is, we frequently hear them walking across the roof and skylights. 

We re-oriented the rooftop patio when we moved in so that the clothes drying lines went vertically from side to side on the back half of the patio, leaving the front half free for a few chairs and tables (someday). Since we usually only wash one or two loads a day, at most, this leave us plenty of clothes drying space, and room to go up there and enjoy the view. 

Speaking of the view... here it is!! It doesn't get much better than this. It's especially beautiful at night. You can see the whole city from here - everything except the volcano. OH well. We can see the three big Catholic churches in town, the Mormon Temple, and even the school where I work! (Oh, yes - and McDonalds.) We're also told that the fireworks during Christmas and New Year's Eve are unbelivable from up there. Can't wait to see them.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little tour of our part of the world. We feel increidbly blessed to have the privilege of being here, and of sharing our home with you. Until next time...

Setting Up Housekeeping

We just finished moving. Again. (Didn't we just go through this, like, 2 months ago?)

Thankfully, there wasn't a whole lot to move this time. I mean, pretty much everything we own down here fits into this:

Oh - except for our furniture and appliances.

Did you know you kind of have to have furniture and appliances to live? (Well, to live comfortably at least...) Our first home here (an apartment) came "fully" furnished - by which I  mean we had a very small, old, uncomfortable living room set; sagging, ancient, uncomfortable beds; and a refrigerator that broke down unexpectedly and took a week to get fixed. (And then there was the shower...)

We really aren't complaining, though. It was a soft place to land when we arrived, and much more luxurious than what most people Guatemala have. Honestly, even with all of those frustrations, we seriously considered just staying in our apartment for the duration of our time here.

But - it was kind of out on the far edge of town. And, we were isolated there, and didn't have many opportunities to talk with (and learn from) our Spanish speaking neighbors. And, there was no room to host people, which we love to do and want to have as a part of our ministry. And,  because of the layout and furniture, it wasn't really all that easy or comfortable to spend time together as a family. And, we didn't sleep well there. And, and, and... you get the point.

So - we prayed about it and really felt like it was best for us to move, which meant we had to buy a whole lot of stuff.

That was very scary...

First off, it's scary because everything is harder in Guatemala, and the thought of doing big stuff is especially terrifying. And, while I do love the hunt for a good bargain, that's not as much of an option here. Second-hand items are VERY used, still pretty expensive (usually 60% to 80% of its 'new' price) and much more likely to break or wear out. So, in my quest for furnishings, I had to either spend weeks searching for bargains, and put up with things failing apart and needing to be replaced frequently; or, put aside my natural inclination to buy the cheapest available options, and actually go to a furniture store.

I chose the latter.

That was scary too. Let me assure you - sticker shock is a very real thing, especially when you're a missionary living off the financial support of other people. There are no words to express how utterly grateful we are for our supporters. But, there are also no words to express how strongly we desire to be good stewards of that support. (You can tell why shopping was a conflicting experience.)

Thankfully, God is gracious, and well able to provide both enough finances, AND good Guatemalan friends with a spectacular aptitude for haggling. (If this was an Olympic sport, they would totally win the gold.) Though there was a wide range in prices for the items I needed, I was grateful to find that the cheaper stuff was still pretty good quality and a good fit for us. Also, there wasn't a single item that I bought that didn't end up being close to half off the listed price because of my friends' insistence - and the store even threw in free delivery and a blender and microwave before it was all said and done.

So, we're now the proud owners of a Jeep/car top carrier worth of stuff, PLUS a refrigerator, stove, a couple of small kitchen appliances, two beds, and a living room set. (The latter still hasn't arrived. But, since it's only two weeks past when the store *promised* they'd deliver it, I'm fully confident it will arrive in at least the next month or two. We do live in Guatemala, after all...)

In many ways, the two months we spent in our first apartment were kind of like an introduction and orientation to Xela. We were surviving. We were learning. But, we are really just now beginning to live here. That means that, in addition to the big things we had to buy, we're also finding a million little things that we need for our daily living, and to make us more effective in the ministry God sent us to Guatemala to do.

You know - things like dish towels. Baking dishes. Flour, yeast, baking soda and powder. Hydrogen peroxide and bandaids. Extension cords.  Pillows, sheets, and blankets. Strange things that you don't really have to think about that often (or, at least, not all at once) once you've already set up a household. So, we make frequent trips to Walmrt, Maxi Dispensa, and Cemaco (kind of like a Bed Bath and Beyond mixed with an Ace Hardware).

I'm looking forward to the day when our shopping list *only* has grocery items on it once again! Still, even though it's challenging to find everything we need (dish drainers and mixing bowls, for example, are hard to come by), and it's very hard to spend money rebuying all these things that we already owned in Iowa, it's also tremendously satisfying.

God has been sooooooo good to call us to this beautiful city and allow us the privilege of ministering here on His behalf. He has been good to give us this house to live in, and the resources to set up housekeeping here. But, most of all, He's been so good in blessing this place with His presence, so that it's become more than just a house filled with things - it has become our home.