Brain Dump

I don't really have time to write a whole bunch of blog posts about all the different stuff that's going on right now - in our lives, in our minds, and in our hearts. But, I do want to be able to share (somehow) what it's really like in the last few days before you head off for the mission field. I guess since life is so chaotic and rushed, it's only appropriate for this post to be so, as well.

Here goes:

• Our middle daughter sprained her ankle the night before last. (Jumped off the porch railing. Had an umbrella, but Mary Poppins is a liar, hence the sprain.) I'm super relieved it's not broken, but it sort of highlights the way we've had to do things lately - carefully. Trying not to break stuff at the house. Stuff on the Jeep. Stuff on our bodies. Just the need to be more thoughtful about that kind of thing is strange. Probably healthy and good for us, but strange nonetheless.
• Went to a visitation yesterday. Wasn't able to go to the funeral today because we close on our house this afternoon (yay!!) and reallyhonestlyandtruly have to have our *final* storage boxes loaded up and ready to go by 3:00 today (yikes!!). I wanted to take time to express my sorrow to myself. To my husband. To the family. WITH the family. But, there isn't time - for any of that -  and that really stinks. Like, beyond-the-stinkiest-of-stinks, stinks. We are still a part of things here, but only by the loosest of threads. Yet, we're not really sewn into the fabric of where we're going, either. Kinda feeling like we're floating a bit.
• Goodbyes are really hard. I want each and every person in our lives to feel honored and special and cared about - because they are! But, I'm ending up having to text goodbyes, or email goodbyes, or skip goodbyes altogether with people. I hope they know... I also am starting to consider the reality of our drive down. Which, essentially, is a three-week-long, non-stop goodbye fest. We just get to do this over, and over, and over, and over again. I am kinda weary just thinking of it. I pray that God will help us be a bit numb, so it doesn't hurt so much. Then again - I don't want our loved ones to think we're just going through the motions or don't care - because we do! Again - I hope they know...
• I'm tired of touching all of our stuff. We don't even have that much stuff any more, but I'm having to touch it all, all of the time. Move this here. Take that over there. Put this in that bag. Pull that out of this box. I'm kind of ready to toss it all and start entirely over when we get there. Let's be honest - I don't really know what I'm going to need. Or want to have when we get back. Or wish I'd pitched when I had the chance. More and more (especially since I'm having to touch it all so much!) I'm just really realizing that stuff is just stuff, and it's not important at all in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I know I'm still going to have to touch it allllllllllllll again before it's said and done. <sigh>
• It is impossible (for various reasons) to have an entire family's laundry ALL clean at once. That is irritating.

All that, and we're living on the last of the lasts in the cupboard! Even my kids are tired of chips, frozen dinners, and cereal. I can't say that I'm exactly looking forward to 3 weeks of fast food. (Let's face it - that's what's probably going to happen much of the time on our trip. <sigh again>) BUT, at least it won't chips, frozen dinners, or cereal. So, I guess there's always a bright side. :)

Despite the challenges we're facing (and the fact that this blog post sounds a wee bit whiny - sorry) we really are feeling truly blessed! Life isn't easy in transition, but there is nowhere else we'd rather be. Of course, the biggest part of what makes it all so hard is that we're leaving behind so many, many, many wonderful relationships. And, I'd MUCH rather have those waiting for me when we get back, than never have had them at all.